I Miss You Like Crazy

Sabi ng friend ko, engot daw ako pagdating sa pag-ibig. Sya kasi, 3 days lang ang binibigay nya sa sarili nya para iyakan ang isang ex. After that, she's ready to move on and to let go. Ako, ilang buwan na, loka loka p din. (well, aminado nmn ako na loka loka ako)
I had been burning phone lines recently, and yet, i am still stucked in this crazy situation. You're so near and yet, i miss you like crazy.
God knows how much.
He even knows how much pain i am enduring at this very point in time. Pain caused by the very thought that i like you so much...
Ang hirap maging loka loka. Nakakapagod. Nakakapagod ka kasing mahalin talaga. Ang problema naman, alam ko na na ito ang sitwasyon naten, and yet i keep on hoping and praying that someday, you'll notice the special feelings i have for you. Baliw lang di ba?
Nasasaktan na, ayaw pang mag let go. Pero sabi ng isa ko pang friend, okay na nararamdaman ko yung pagod. Later on daw, mag uumpisa na ang pag momove on. Kelan? ='( ilang buwan na akong ganito e.
Sabi nga ng character ni Bea: Wag, wag mo na akong pahirapan.
Isa na lang ang pag asa ko, distance.
Sana yan man lang ma-grant.

Second Best

I was wondering if I can finally let go of my feelings for you and settle for the second best person that will come in my life. Ang hirap na tanong, promise. Kasi I still would like for this relationship of ours to 'work'. But from the looks of it, this is already a lost battle. (which my mind still refuses to accept, crazy me!)
Gustong gusto kong mag move on. Loser nga naman kung mananatili akong nag iintay sa yo. So naisip ko, pano kung may dumating na iba? Am I to accept na posibleng sya ang aking The One?
Though sa ngayon e hindi ko alam ang sagot (since blinded ako ng damdamin ko sa yo), time will come, malalaman ko din ang sagot.
Just like in the 27 dresses.
Jane was so inlove with her boss and her whole world was revolving around him (hmmm, parang ako lang). Then she met this writer. At first, hindi nya na recognize that the writer was the one for her. Until one day, she realized, mahal nya yung pangalawa.
So i guess, it is worth the risk. The second best maybe the second best for now but it time, he might emerged as The One.

Heartache Knows No Gender

All this time i thought that only girls can be this mushy over love. I thought that guys are not as affected when the one they like, are not that interested in them. Kala ko, magkikibit balikat lang sila, and then they'll move on.
But i was wrong.
I really appreciate this one friend of mine. Sobrang shineshare nya yung nararamdaman nya towards a special girl. Apparently, he's not sure if the girl likes him or not. And that's where the problem comes in.
Sabi nga nya : ang boses nya,parang musika na sa aking tenga. Bigla nalang akong napapangiti, maisip ko palang sya. Pero pag nakikita ko na sya, sinasaktan na nya ang puso ko.
I totally understand how he feels. Though madinig ko palang ang boses mo, maisip palang kita, lalo n pag nakikita kita...lahat 'to...breaks my heart.
I admire you friend. Kasi kahit na napaka jolly ng personality mo, behinds those gooffy acts is a true person. Hindi ka nahihiyang umamin na pede din palang seryoso sa pag-ibig ang mga lalaki.
If only people will see this side of yours, grabe, they will admire you as much as i do.

Game Over

Everyday nalang, ang hirap magpretend. Ang hirap magpretend n ok ka lang, na masaya ka, na wala kang pakialam sa mundo.
Hindi naman ako mahirap i please. Mababaw lang ako. Isang text mo lang, masaya na ko. Alam mo ba na kahit yung pinakamaikli mong message, e sinesave ko? Na meron kang sariling folder dito sa cell phone ko? Meron pa nga akong journal na ang laman lang e lahat ng tungkol sa yo, pabor man o hindi sa akin ang nangyari. Alam mo din ba na stalker mo ko? Haha. Hindi ako nakakatulog sa gabi pag di ko nakikita yung account mo sa facebook (kahit di tayo linked).
Ganyan ako kababaw. Sa mga simpleng bagay na yan, nabubuo ang araw.
Until one day, na-realize ko, na ako lang ang nagmamahal. Hindi ko alam, pero bigla kong naramdaman na nakakapagod kang mahalin.
Everyday is a struggle. Magparamdam ka man o hindi sa texts, unti unti mo lang dinudurog ang puso ko.
Iniisip ko nga, will it help if we are to see each other more often? Kung mas close tyo? Alam ko naman na may fault din ako. Kasi pag magkasama tyo, nahihiya akong ipakita/iparamdam sa yo na i like you, na espesyal ka. Kasi mahihirapan lang ako because it will just make me more in love with you. Mahirap mag gamble.
Pero di mo lang alam, sobrang mahal na mahal kita.
Ewan ko, pinanganak ka yatang manhid! Ikaw nalang ata sa universe ang di nakakaalam na gusto kita.
Napagod lang ako nang madalas mong gawin ang alam mong hindi ko gusto. Parang nananadya ka. Sabi ng kaibigan ko, it might mean na you do not value my opinion, na you do not care about my feelings. I guess tama sya. Kasi pede namang dedma, and yet, yung mga ayaw ko ang pilit mong ginagawa.
So ito, pagod na ako. Game over. Time's up.

'Coz Loving You, Just Hurts Deep Inside

I was watching Music Uplate Live this morning and they had Vanna Vanna as their guest. Grabe, ang ganda nung kanta nila that had this line: 'coz loving you just hurts deep inside. Very real kasi ito for me, and for those people who keeps on waiting for their special someone to love them back...pero alam mo na hindi naman mangyayari.

Cant you see..
That i'm hurtin inside
All these tears i can't hide
Life is never easy, without you baby
I want you to know
That i'm hurtin inside
The pain is deep inside
I can't mend it
Wishing you would come to ease the pain
In my heart
Coz loving you just hurts deep inside

Hindi pa din Ikaw

A friend was texting me. May problema din to sa puso (not literally though). She was telling me that her ex boyfriend has found a new girl. That only took him 1 month after the break up. Bad trip di ba? Di bale sana kung kagwapuhan sya, e hindi, hindi, hindi! Peace!
Tapos, ang babaeng ito e kilala ng friend ko. Pambihira. Pede namang iba diba? At least, less painful sya.
And that's what i thought.
I told her na sana hindi nalang yung babaeng kakilala nya ang kapalagayang loob ni ex. Sana e kumuha man lang sa malayo. Sana ibang tao nalang.
I thought that my friend will tell me, you know tama ka. Mas madaling tanggapin kung iba na lang. Infact, kung sa akin nangyari yun, i will definitely feel a little ok na hindi ko kilala yung 3rd party. SANA IBANG TAO NA LANG, WAG LANG SYA.
Pero sabi ng friend ko, hindi mas unti ang pain na madarama kung kilala mo man o hindi ang karibal mo. Pareho lang ng intensity. Masakit pa din. Bakit? Simple lang.
Kasi yung IBANG TAO na mahal nya, e hindi pa din ikaw.

Jammed Frequency

All this time, i thought that nothing is missing...that my world is already complete. The you came and made me realize na meron pa palang pedeng idagdag dito sa maliit kong mundo.
You made me believe that life is more colorful with you around. And I totally agree. Utu-uto ako e. I even made you the center of my universe, the focal point of my life.
In my dreams, you are mine.
Kaya lang when reality sets in, alam ko namang you do not feel the same way. Na isa lang ako sa mga super friends mo. That all these good things you are showering me are also being given to all of your friends. Kumbaga, i am just one of them.
Hindi katulad mo sa buhay ko, isa ka lang. Sobrang nag iisa.
But then again, nakakapagod ang mag intay sa wala. Nakakapagod yung walang assurance.
Kasi naman. Sino ba ang nagsabi sa yo na bumalik ka after 10 heart years? Ala nman di ba?
Wag ka kasing magbigay ng mixed signals.
Mahina ako dyan. Kahit nung college.
I know i need to stop. Pero pag naaalala ko to, nagdadalawang isip ako:
You might regret putting an end to something that once made you smile...
Oo, aminado ako. You can really make me smile. Pero aminin mo, you are also the reason why my tears are my companion tonight.

Masukista

Sabi ng friend ko : it is better to accept the fact that you are not appreciated than to insist yourself to someone who will never see your worth.
Tama nga nman. Pero ang tao, pag na inlove, masukista din e. Alam mo ng alang patutunguhan,pero andun ka pa din. Nakatunganga. Nag iintay ng himala n baka sakali e mapansin ka nya.
Alam na alam ko ang feeling na to. But then again, people grow. Ang i will, one of these days. So mababawasan ka na ng admirers. Malapit na akong umayaw. Malapit na malapit na.